Dragons and Treasure

We all have a traditional image of dragons in our heads, fostered by countless cartoons, children’s books, movies, and fables.  The dragon:  monstrously large, scaled, with wings, fangs, and an ability to breathe fire.  And, they sleep on a pile of golden treasure.  For me, that iconic image comes from The Hobbit, where Bilbo Baggins, cloaked by the One Ring, enters the lair of Smaug.

It seems to be a foregone conclusion:  dragons treat golden spoils as if they were a Posturpedic bed.

Kinda begs the question – what do they use as a blanket then?

Or toilet paper?  Yipes.

Two adventurers slay the dread dragon and begin sifting through the loot.

Adventurer 1:  Wow, look at this chalice!

Adventurer 2:  Amazing!  But, um… does gold usually look rusted?  (Holds nose.)  And smell that bad?

But, I digress.

So, let’s imagine, if you will, dragons in today’s culture.  What’s a dragon going to sleep on in the present?  I mean, gold’s not the easiest to come by, and it’s pretty heavy for the volume it occupies.  It wouldn’t take much to come crashing through the floor of an upper level apartment.  What’s a modern day dragon to use instead?  Dollar bills?  Have you ever smelled a wad of used cash?  That greasy sour smell can’t be easy on the nostrils, especially when those same nares have a tendency to blow fireballs when sneezing.  The danger of fire is also there for stock certificates and bonds.

Well, paper is definitely out.

Maybe coins would be the answer.  The more well to do dragons could sleep on gold double eagle dollars.  Down trodden dragons might have to resort to pennies.  Though that might be hard to explain to the odd princess who’s abducted for a visit.